April 26, 2021

Feeling Unloved

Written by Boyd Bailey

Ask the Lord to love you in a way that you can give away your love to one who suffers from a love deficiency.”

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – April 26, 2021

Use your freedom to serve one another in love; thats how freedom grows. For everything we know about Gods Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. Thats an act of true freedom. Galatians 5:14-15, The Message

My wife, Rita and I recently caught up with two couple friends on our back patio. One couple just returned from spring break at the beach with two of their teenage sons. Their trip was life-giving! Slept late. Relaxed. Paddle boarded, body surfed, ate delectable meals, had meaningful conversations and rejuvenating vitamin D from the generous sunshine. But one incident threatened to erase their fabulous family time. Our friend’s mom who lived in the area, decided not to drive the 45 minutes to visit. Not Covid related, just too much traffic to overcome. Our friend went from an epic week to exasperation: feeling unloved and rejected by her mom. When the one who should love us the most makes us feel loved the least—we must turn to authentic love. 

The apostle Paul reminded the church in Galatia of the brand promise of Christianity: LOVE. Love others. Love yourself. In the process of loving you are expressing your love for God and allowing your heavenly Father to love you. So your capacity to love is not limited to human constraints—rather expanded by the Holy Spirit’s freedom to serve one another in love. God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. Beautifully, love bears the fruit of forgiveness and healing, so relationships can repair and grow deeper. 

“Love other people as well as you do yourself. You cant go wrong when you love others. When you add up everything in the law code, the sum total is love” (Romans 13:10, The Message).

When you feel unloved how do you respond? Angry? Self pity? Confused? These are normal narratives you can easily believe about yourself, because of past shame and hurt. Or, you can stop listening to the untruthful voices in your head and tell yourself the truth. You are a beloved child of God in whom He is well pleased. A parent who you hoped would love you may not have the capacity to love you—because she has not experienced the love of God. Ask the Lord to love you in a way so you can give away your love to one who suffers from a love deficiency. You know better. You have the freedom in Christ to love and be loved. Some people can’t love.

Our compassion grows when we can see others suffering emotionally or spiritually ignorant. Our eyes of love are able to discern an unloving person as someone who is uniquely created in the image of God, desperately in need of his Creator’s love and care. Love is life-giving, so we begin by asking the giver of life to love us in spite of our imperfections and tendency to not believe the truth at times. We rest in the Lord’s love so we can bring peace to relationships under attack. Feeling unloved is a time to pause, reflect, and grow into the freedom to love profoundly. 

“You do well when you complete the Royal Rule of the Scriptures: Love others as you love yourself” (James 2:8, The Message).


Heavenly Father, give me eyes of love to love others who are suffering from a deficiency of love, through Christ’s love and in Jesusname, amen.


Who do I need to intentionally reach out to and love, even though I may not receive reciprocal love from him in the process?

Related Reading

John 13:34-35; Romans 13:8; 2 Corinthians 13:11; Ephesians 4:2

Pre-order Boyd’s most important book he has written to date: The Spiritual Life of a Leader

Worship Resource

Carrie Underwood: Oh How I Love Jesus


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  1. Joel Jeshurun says:

    Thank You so much for this wonderful message! ‘Love is life-giving’ beautifully said. It is a great reminder to always rest on God’s abundant love and always seek him first. No matter what people may disappoint us but God will never. That is how much God is interested in our lives, he loves us all and he wants us to know that. Many times we go after others for validation and love, yet we fail to seek refuge in him-the most high so that we may find peace and love within ourselves, that would be enough to love others who need it just as Christ demonstrated his eternal love for us on the cross.

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