Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – February 6, 2018
Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love. Jonah 2:8
In my early forties when marriage was still eluding me and I heard the loud ticking of my biological clock, my heart ached for a child. I have always wanted to be a mom, but the reality that my child-bearing years were ending hit me hard, laying me waste with the grief of unfulfilled longing.
One evening, I went to church and sat at the back and wept. I was wounded and angry. “God, I want you to turn back the clock! I want you to change my life! Why does this have to be my story!?”
I thought of other unmarried women I knew who intentionally became pregnant so they could become mothers. They went outside God’s plan but held the children of their dreams while my arms were empty. I knew my feelings weren’t right, but I couldn’t help but feel that doing life God’s way seemed futile. It’s not that I would have ever turned my back on Him, but I wondered why I didn’t get what I wanted when others who didn’t know Him, did.
One day, I wrote honest, raw words in my journal about my longings. Through my reflection, the Lord gave me clear perspective, drew me close to Himself, and renewed my trust in Him.
May 21, 2009
Every now and then, my faith is washed away in a torrential downpour of longing. In this stormy ache, everything I have learned about you, who you are, remembrance of what you have done in my life, and the truth of your love for me is washed away in a flood of desire for satisfaction—for something or someone that promises to put an end to my longing. In these moments, when I have forgotten you, when I don’t believe you are enough, I am most vulnerable to compromising what I believe, of laying you on the altar and killing my relationship with you for my own dreams, hopes, and desires I believe will satisfy.
Dreams, hopes, and desires such as love, intimacy, romance, children, sex, comfort, companionship, and significance. When these things dominate me, and I feel that I must have them to save me, it’s because I doubt that you are enough.
Doubting you, doubting your love, the doubt beckons me to trade you for an idol, a lesser love. But if I let you go, what do I have? Like the Psalmist, I ask, “Whom have I in heaven but you?” Who in all of earth, all of my city, all of my home, and all of my bed at night? Whom have I but you? No one. No one compares.
No, I will not kill my relationship with you by exchanging you for an idol, a lesser love, for my greatest love is you. I will not trade you in for temporary satisfaction. You last forever. Idols and lesser loves do not.
Are you trusting God today with your greatest desires and deepest unfulfilled longings? Or, are you chasing after lesser loves to get your desires fulfilled? Turn to Him today and let Him comfort your longing heart.
PrayerLord, thank you that you are enough. When my desires aren’t fulfilled, help me turn to you in my greatest times of longing and trust you. You are trustworthy because you love me; you loved me even enough to die for me. And, even though things don’t always make sense this side of heaven, I know you will make it all plain when I come home. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.
ApplicationWrite the Lord a letter today confessing your unfulfilled longing and allow Him to minister to you.
Related ReadingExodus 20:3-6, 1 John 5:21; Colossians 3:5
Post/Tweet todayWhen our desires go unfulfilled, Jesus is enough. #WisdomHunters #UnfulfilledLongings
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