“When we resist assumption, we create space for love and trust to flourish.”
Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – October 21, 2023
Do not hastily bring into court, for what will you do in the end, when your neighbor puts you to shame? Proverbs 25:8, ESV
Don’t make assumptions. In many ways, I could stop today’s devotional there and let you get on with your day. However, as a writer and pastor, I feel compelled to add at least a few additional thoughts, so I thank you in advance for sticking with me.
We make assumptions daily, thinking we know the motives that animate the actions of others, especially those with whom we live in close community. When we have the gift of intimacy and relational history, it is even easier to assume! We think we know people’s patterns and habits of behavior, and assume that whenever they said that, what they really mean is this. Or, that action can only have one motivation.
Assumptions can be encountered in every area of life. We do this in the workplace, assuming a boss’s terse interaction with us is directly related to their opinion of our performance. This can quickly build and spiral out of control, turning into a narrative that we are convinced is true beyond the shadow of a doubt, never allowing for the fact that they may have simply overstayed the parking meter or just realized they left their bagged lunch on the kitchen counter! In the same way, we react to the actions of a spouse or child, assuming we know why they acted the way they did, rather than doing the harder work of keeping our assumptions at bay and instead creating space to allow them to speak for themselves.
Here’s a transformative phrase that I cannot more deeply encourage you to reflect upon, memorize, and incorporate into your daily conversations. “When you did/said ____, I’m wondering if it’s because of ____. Is that true, or is there something else going on?” With thousands of points of potential application, a sentence such as this simultaneously does two things. First, it creates room for you to voice your assumption, which may, in fact, be true! Yet at the same time, you have now framed the conversation as one of mutual respect, allowing for the fact that your assumption could be wrong, and inviting them to help you better understand what, in fact, is truly going on.
In summary, when we resist assumption, we create space for love and trust to flourish. So today, in the words of the Proverbs, “Do not hastily bring into court.” Cultivate a posture of self-doubt that leaves plenty of room for motives that are unseen and unknown to you, and instead seek to dignify and honor the other person, whoever they may be, seeking space to honor and respect them at every turn.
Prayer
Father, keep us free from judgmental hearts that assume we know the motives of others, we pray through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Application
Where have you been hasty to judge and assume the motives of someone else?
Related Reading
Proverbs 18:2; Matthew 7:1; John 7:24
Worship Resource
Phil Wickham: House of the Lord
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