January 21, 2011

Wise Dating

Written by Wisdom Hunters

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today- January 21, 2011

“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NKJV)

What relational path honors the Lord and honors my dating? Ask objectively: Is there agreement in faith, family and values? Dating relationships that honestly ask heart felt questions flush out communication and prepare a couple for success, as God defines success. Wise dating waits for God’s best and is not suddenly smitten by surface feelings.

If for example, an older teenager, college student or single adult is “in love” with someone who does not practice their faith in Jesus Christ, then the probabilities for a long-term successful relationship is very low. It’s hard enough to work through personality differences, diverse family backgrounds and character development without adding your disagreement in the foundational issue of faith in God and obedience to His commands.

Start with your belief in Jesus Christ and your love for Him as your beginning point for being together in a dating relationship and you have a good base to build upon. Like building a beautiful house on a cracked cement foundation are two pretty people who are not both disciples of Jesus. Committed Christian relationships are not perfect, but they persevere.

“Jesus is ‘the stone you builders rejected, which has become the cornerstone.’ Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved” (4:11-12).

Be careful to not let the feeling of “being in love” trump the reality of the other person being a genuine follower and lover of the Lord. Emotions can accelerate bad decision-making, if not tempered by wisdom and accountability. This is why wise young people engage the wisdom and counsel of their dad and mom. Wise dating shows that you are being accountable.

You are accountable to the Lord and you are accountable to your parents. Choosing to date someone is not like spontaneously shopping for what’s on sale—it is a prayerful and prudent process. It is much better to stop an unwise relationship in the beginning, than to later have to untangle a complex web of emotions and physical indiscretions. Be wise to date in groups—don’t be alone together in compromising situations. Wisdom is being preemptive.

Lastly, wise dating honors the Lord by honoring your body with purity. True love does not prove itself in sexual intimacy, because “love is patient” (1 Corinthians 13:3). When you wait and save yourself for your wedding day—it’s honoring to your marriage and to the Lord. Focus your energy and emotion into spiritual growth—you will have no regrets. Wise dating prayerfully recognizes a greater objective that is purposed in Christ.

“With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ” (Ephesians 1:8b-9).

Does my dating relationship honor the Lord? Am I accountable to Him and my parents?

Related Readings: Genesis 24: 3-4; Psalm 24:3-5; 1 Corinthians 3:16-17; Ephesians 6:1-3

Download at http://wisdomhunters.com/wisdom-from-love/ your free copy of the e-book Wisdom From Love, a 29-day devotional for February.

Learn about dating guidelines from one wise couple, click here: http://wisdomhunters.com/2007/12/10/wisdom-from-a-friend…todd-rebekah-coons-on-dating/


  1. Stephanie White says:

    So wise and so true. I believe, people are aching to be loved, that they often go looking for love in the wrong places. God didn’t give us these “rules” so that we could not have fun – but rather to protect us. I was very blessed – I was a older single adult – got pregnant than married. We did the right thing – but we never discussed, what our religious beliefs were. For all I know I could have married a man that liked to sacrfice small animals to some god. But we are both Christians. God looked out for us and we are still married after 12 years. Just remember that the rules weren’t there to stop us from having fun – but rather to save us heartache.

  2. A.E. says:

    As much as I agree with the general idea, I have to point out that when I met and married my husband he was a non-practicing Jew. I told him of the importance of my faith and that it needed to be my priority. This was never a problem between us and was something he watched grow in me and in our lives for 7 years before he decided on his own to accept Christ as his savior. It can’t be overlooked that sometimes God’s plan may involve ministering to your spouse along the way.

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  5. Ef Deco says:

    I couldn’t resist commenting. Very well written!

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