“A true friend does not make a project out of a friend, but loves them.”
Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – November 3, 2026
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Proverbs 17:17
In Mark’s recounting of the rich young ruler who came to Jesus, we are told that Jesus looked on the man and loved him (Mark 10:21a). It is a remarkable insight into Jesus’ character, because, from what we are told, the young man did not respond at that time to Jesus’ invitation to follow Him. And still, the Savior knew him and loved him. We can only speculate about what that young ruler’s future held and hope that his heart at last turned away from his riches and towards his Lord. But we do not need to speculate about Jesus’ love for the man, even when that love was met with rejection. Not only did our Lord love this upright man; He was famously the friend of sinners and the lover of the lost.
How often do we assess the people who come into our lives as projects that need fixing? This can be true in our families, when parents see only the problems their children pose, and relate to them as something to be sorted out rather than complex persons to be loved. It can be true of a husband or wife who withholds love from the other until a certain frustrating behavior is fixed. And it can be true of us with our friends, and especially those who do not yet call Jesus Lord. We can feel a pressure on our shoulders to slip in as much “God talk” as possible so that we might chip away at their lostness, and when they show no interest in the subject, we simply dust off our hands and look for the next project to work on. But this is not the way of our Lord. He saw people as individuals made in the awesome image of His Father, and He loved them. He served people, even when they could do nothing for Him in return, and even when He knew their hearts were still far off.
Decades ago now, God began to teach me how to truly love the lost when He brought one of my dearest friends into my life. Though she did not profess belief in Jesus, our deep friendship opened my eyes to see the fingerprints of God all over her being. At times, our friendship hit rocky ground, and I wondered if the challenges were worth it; after all, it seemed as though she were getting further, not closer, to God. But God knew what I did not, and thanks be to Him, He kept me there, a faithful friend in seasons of grief, so that I could reap His reward. That reward has been watching this friend, through no missionary effort of mine but merely through God’s faithfulness in helping me stay a faithful friend, come to give her whole life to Christ and blossom into the person He always intended her to be. And perhaps she is not the only one. Oswald Chambers wrote, “What an astonishment it will be to find, when the veil is lifted, the souls that have been reaped by you, simply because you had been in the habit of taking your orders from Jesus Christ” (My Utmost for His Highest, October 17). We are not called to save or fix anyone. We are called to love as Jesus loves, and leave the fruit of that love where it belongs, in His hands. After all, He has been that faithful friend who loved us when we were yet far off.
Prayer
Lord Jesus, help me to love people the way you love them, as God’s image bearers, and to trust your Spirit to use me in their lives without any contriving on my part. Thank you for loving me faithfully, even when I was far from you. Amen.
Application
No one likes being made a project of. Can you recall a time when someone treated you that way? Take it as a reminder and be sure that you are not treating the people in your life likewise, but rather offering genuine friendship.
Related Reading
Proverbs 18:24; 1 Corinthians 13:6-8; Ephesians 2:4-5; 1 Peter 4:8
Worship Resource
Chris Rice: What a Friend We Have in Jesus
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