February 13, 2015

Loving Communication

Written by Boyd Bailey

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – February 13, 2015

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15

I am a positive person by nature, which makes it difficult to speak about hard things to those I love the most. However, I am learning that my loving communication regarding what I am feeling grows genuine intimacy. When I bare my heart to my sweetheart, she is endeared by my vulnerability. I am often clunky in my communication because I am not the best at expressing my feelings. But with practice I improve. Our marriage has become stronger by scheduling weekly blocks of time to talk about what’s troubling us. Loving communication is emotionally healthy.

Paul describes the result of speaking the truth in love: growth and maturity as the body of Christ. When our conversations reach below the surface, we are able to grow up. We grow up by giving our spouse a safe environment to share their heart. We grow up by listening, learning, forgiving and asking forgiveness. So, what does it mean to speak the truth in love? It’s a calm conversation where anger is held at bay and harshness is replaced by humility. Truthful communication in love— shows love. It removes obstacles to intimacy. Loving communication honors the hearer.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2).

Do you have a system in place when approaching your spouse for a serious discussion? Perhaps Sunday afternoon or Tuesday night (separate from date night) after the kids are down, you sit down and talk through what’s troubling you. It is not a time to spew out frustrations in the flesh, but a prayerful time to process pain. Many times we are unaware of what we said or didn’t say that grieves our spouse. These sins of ignorance still cause hurt. Loving communication also contains words of affirmation. For instance: ‘You made me feel so special last week when you surprised me for lunch.’ Loving communication schedules time for heartfelt conversation.

Furthermore, we are best equipped to speak the truth in love—after the sweet Holy Spirit has spoken to our hearts in love. After we sit at the feet of Jesus in quiet contemplation we are able to have the most meaningful conversations. Indeed, our intimate time of worship with our heavenly Father is catalytic for an environment of intimacy in our marriage. Our heart preparation of confession and repentance gives us the patience and perspective to have intimate conversation. Loving communication with Christ leads to loving communication with our spouse and others.

“One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have the king for a friend” (Proverbs 22:11).

Prayer: Heavenly Father, give me the patience to develop skills to engage my spouse in loving communication.

Related Readings: Psalm 18:1; Ezekiel 33:31; Matthew 17:5; 1 John 3:18

Post/Tweet this today: Truthful communication in love— shows love. It removes obstacles to intimacy. #lovingcommunication #wisdomhunters

Additional Resource: 5 minute worship video- Christy Nockels: Let it Be Jesus

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Comments

  1. Dave says:

    Boyd, beautifully stated and desperately needed in every marriage and family. What a difference Jesus makes as we grow up and “speak the truth in love”. Our nation would experience fundamental transformation of a God-honoring kind!

    1. Boyd says:

      Dave thanks for your affirmation and encouragement. And thank you for the loving support your ministry Thebasicidea.org provides marriages. Thank the Lord for you! A fellow servant of Jesus, Boyd

  2. Debra says:

    Looks like someone has been spending time with the Holy One! And it shows…
    to the edification of the House!

    Its good to find out for ones self what Love IS…and STUDY what it is NOT.
    as spelled out in 1 Corinthians 13.

    Communication is important, but its not
    not the only aspect of True Love

    1. Gwynne says:

      Dear Debra~
      Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us with your encouraging words after reading “Loving Communication”. How right you are when you stated that “spending time with the Holy One shows to the edification of the House”!
      This devotional brought up so much to think about with all of our relationships and how we choose to communicate with our loved ones. It seems, once again, it all boils down to spending time with our Heavenly Father. From the devotional:
      “Furthermore, we are best equipped to speak the truth in love- after the sweet Holy Spirit has spoken to our hearts in love. After we sit at the feet of Jesus in quiet contemplation we are able to have the most meaningful conversations.”
      So thankful to have HIM as Our Mighty Counselor!
      Thank you Debra. We are so thankful for you and look forward to hearing from you again in the future.
      Believing and trusting~
      Gwynne
      “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
      Ephesians 4:2


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