February 12, 2019

How to Heal Hurting Relationships

Written by Shana Schutte

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – February 12, 2019

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1-3

There have been times in my life, as I imagine there have been in yours, when I have experienced relational discord or conflict. There were times when someone mistreated me. There have been other times when I was the one at fault. And, finally, there were still other occasions when both I and another person hurt one another.

Regardless of what happened, God always wants to bring healing to hurting relationships. Certainly, you can’t control how another person responds during a relational crisis, but you can do your part to move toward relational healing by following biblical principles.

Here are 2 things you can do to help heal your hurting relationships:

Surrender the right to be offended. Oh, boy. This can be a tough one, right? When our ego gets bruised, or when the other person is offended because of something we did or that they perceive we did, it’s easy to respond with offense. But this isn’t God’s plan because offense breeds offense.

To live in obedience to Christ means you lay down the right to be offended. This doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge you have been mistreated. It just means you keep your heart free from bitterness and you embrace humility.

This attitude will help you think clearly about what is really happening in the relationship; you’ll experience greater peace, and your actions and words will reveal the condition of your heart. Both go a long way toward making peace with the other person.

“There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).

Humbly assess the condition of your own heart. When offense becomes a part of any relationship, finger pointing and blaming can begin to define us. Don’t become this person. It’s unwise. A better response is to ask the Lord if there is anything in your own heart or actions that needs to change. Then make a sincere effort to repent and do what He says.

Just as offense breeds offense, humility and tenderness can breed humility and tenderness. Again, there’s no guarantee that the other person will respond in a godly way when you do. (And there are times when someone is physically or emotionally unsafe. These are extreme situations.) But, one thing is certain: biting and fighting will never heal a relationship. Let relational healing begin with you by humbly assessing the condition of your own heart.

Are you experiencing relational discord? Choose God’s way of relating and see what He will do.

“Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all”  (Romans 12:17-18).

Prayer

Lord, thank you that you have a plan for relational discord and you want to bring healing into my relationships. Let me be a relational change maker by stewarding my own actions and heart in a godly way. Amen.


Application

Take a look back at the relational strife and conflict you have had in your life. Could there have been anything you could have done to live in greater peace with the other person? If so, talk with the Lord about it, receive His forgiveness, then put the above principles into practice in the future.


Related Reading

Matthew 18:15-17; Matthew 5:9; Philippians 2:4


Post/Tweet today

Fighting will never heal a relationship, so let relational healing begin by humbly assessing the condition of your own heart. #WisdomHunters #healing


Worship Resource

3 minute video- Ellie Holcomb: 


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