Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today- July 30, 2010
Forgive Yourself… “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1
Have you forgiven yourself? Have you really forgiven yourself? We know we have forgiven ourselves if we are free from guilt and self-condemnation. Otherwise we are stuck in the crazy cycle of re-living bad decisions that are done and cannot be changed. It is impossible to continually guilt our conscience in order to make up for past mistakes.
When we do not release ourselves from previous indiscretions we try to make up for them by overcompensating in the present. Perhaps you neglected your child in their early years, and now as an older teenager you’ve tried to make up for your absence by enabling their poor decisions. Instead, they need to experience the consequences of bad behavior while they are with you, so they can learn and grow into responsible adults and citizens.
Jesus tells the story of a loving father who allowed his son to hit bottom, and as a consequence the son came to realize reality and he took responsibility: “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you (Luke 15:17-18).
Forgiving yourself begins by embracing the truth that your heavenly Father has forgiven you. The grace of God is in abundant supply; no one is beyond its reach. The Lord loves you unconditionally, and He forgives the objects of His love. Has the grace of God seeped deep into your soul, so you know in your heart and mind that you are set free from the guilt and shame of sin? If not, forgive yourself and trust the Lord to make up for lost time.
“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace” (Ephesians 1:7).
When you forgive yourself, you are able to forgive others. Self-forgiveness is a key to unlocking real relationships. Authentic community with Christ and Christians comes from forgiveness from your heavenly Father, forgiveness from others and forgiveness from yourself. What have you not released yourself from in forgiveness? Lay it at the altar of God’s grace and He will extinguish it with His eternal fire of forgiveness and love.
“This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:38-39). When you love yourself—you forgive yourself!
How can I grow in my love and forgiveness of myself? How does God forgive me?
Related Readings: Psalm 130:3-5; 2 Corinthians 6:1; Colossians 1:14; 1 John 4:7-12
Boyd Bailey is the author of Wisdom Hunters daily devotional and two devotional books, Infusion and Seeking Daily the Heart of God
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Boyd, I really enjoy and am blessed by your devotions. I share them with my SS class and family. However, this one of forgiving yourself is one of those subjects that I think is really off the Scriptural base. I can’t find one Scripture about forgiving yourself. I have read many modern teachers talk about the same thing but I have never found a sufficient Biblical foundation for this idea.
I am not writing to argue this with you. I just want you to know that this 60 year believer, schooled in the best Christian schools, pastor for 35 years just does not see the ground for this approach and wish you would restudy this approach.
I love you my brother.
Bill Hampton
First time here, saw this on a FB friend’s wall. Have to agree with Boyd and again, not to argue but simply to share what I have received from Biblical studies. The cross completed it all, to say that we need to forgive ourselves would imply that the cross wasn’t enough, that we still need to “do” something. Yes, we do need to move on and not be in bondage to past regrets or shame because we ARE forgiven completely through the precious blood sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and that is the only forgiveness that we need! Hallelujah!
it’s not that we have to forgive ourselves, it’s that we have to understand where we are coming short in our walk with Christ. Once we realize that we are overcompensating for our past sins, we can go to Him and He will release us from the bondage of our past. We can’t help others if we don’t seek help ourselves. Peace to all and may Jesus live through you as he has with me.
What about I John 1:9, which says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins…”? I understand that Jesus already made the way for us to be forgiven, but according to this verse, it seems our first step to receiving that forgiveness is in our confession, or “agreeing with/saying the same thing as” what He says about our sin.
I see this as key to a walk. Mary Sue and Bill, I think this is just semantics that is the catching point. GL and Carlos, I think you are saying it right. I think all of us are in agreement, but the way Boyd is presenting it is very imperative to how many people are still living their lives in bondage. When we ask for God’s forgiveness through Christ, we are forgiven. We, as guilt-ridden humans and from the pressure of society, often block the fruits of Christ’s gift of forgiveness by still condemning ourselves for past faults. We, out of some sort of human pride, continue to carry this guilt and to negate Christ’s forgiveness. Not that we have the power to negate it, but we still continue as if WE still need to do something — penance, self-loathing, rectifying situations — before all can be correct. We are sinfully acting like we can meet Jesus half-way in our forgiveness. The self-forgiveness is really a release of our pride and our false belief that we have any power to do anything aside from Christ. If we do not self-forigive — give it up and away to Christ — then we are unable to receive the full forgiveness and grace of Christ.
Self-forgiveness, in my view, is simply a term that is saying that we are choosing to give it away and up to Christ, just as we do when we forgive others. Christ tells us to forgive others or we won’t be forgiven. Do we really have the power to forgive others? We use the same term for us
“”forgiving” others as we do for Christ “forgiving” Is it the same thing? No, not at all. I am going to Capitalize the Forgiveness of sins through Christ. We are not Forgiving our brother of his sins. We, as humans, can only forgive, not Forgive. When we forgive, we are onlyreleasing the condemnation we feel in our hearts to allow the spirit of the grace of Forgiveness through Christ to return to our lives. This is the same forgiveness we must give to every human, our self included. We cannot forgive our own sins or anyone else’s, but we must give up the hurt and condemnation we are feeling towards this person (ourselves or others) in order to accept and the grace and Forgiveness of Christ to do its holy work in us.
If we don’t forgive our self, we are arrogantly putting our self above Christ and also saying that His work on the cross was not enough and that He did not die once for all, and that we only need to ask Forgiveness once and we ARE Forgiven. If we don’t forgive ourselves, we are saying that we don’t believe in the Forgiveness of Christ.
Boyd, I thank you so much for what you said above. If we don’t forgive ourself, we are setting ourselves above Christ and saying that His Forgiveness is not enough and that we have the power to take actions to earn forgiveness. “And the people did what was right in their own eyes.” Judges 21:25.
We need to remove this beam of unforgiveness of self to truly believe that Christ did it all on the cross and we are beneficiaries, not participants in the work He did once , for all.
Bill thanks for raising the question of whether self forgivenesses has biblical support. Mary Sue, Carlos and GL thanks for expressing your thoughts related to forgiveness from Jesus. Dudley thanks for bringing clarity to the point of our freedom in Christ through forgiveness.
Praise the Lord for His grace and forgiveness,
Boyd
Your above devotion: Forgive Yourself – Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today- July 30, 2010 – Really hit home with me and as I take the first step that you have ‘put there for me’, I am on the road to healing and getting closer to GOD. I have met with so much (deserved/undeserved) disapproval in my life (especially from my late-father and late-husband) that it is easy to imagine that GOD is also disappointed in me. This, of course, keeps me at arms length from GOD because I don’t want to feel HIS disappointment in me (as I feel it).
You have spoken to my heart and soul and I am ready to forgive myself the million mistakes that I’ve made in my life by giving them to Jesus. I do this so I can ‘finally’ be a fruitful follower. GOD is drawing me to true Wisdom and I will be signing up for regular inspiration from Wisdom Hunters. Eventhough my name is ‘Wisdom’, I have just taken the first step to really being ‘wise’ and I thank you so much!!!!
I do not believe that it is at all helpful to talk about “forgiving yourself.” First of all, no where in scripture do we see this discussed, let alone commanded or even modeled.
I believe that the concept of “forgiving yourself” comes largely from secular psychology.
It is true that if a counselee/disciple is struggling with “forgiving himself” it is likely due to a deficient / unbiblical view of forgiveness and reconcilliation through confession, repentance, and saving faith. In my counseling, I often find that I need to direct my counselee/disciple to those passages that speak of the sufficiency of Christ’s attoning sacrifice.
However, in my experience, when i have a counsellee who says that he “can’t forgive himself” (especially after studying the passages on the sufficiency of Christ) he/she is almost always involved in unrepentant rebellion and this problem serves as an excuse for not living as Christ commands. The thought process can be summarized this way, “I know I am to live a life marked by love and good works; that I am to be holy because God is holy – but if I wallow in self-pity and self-condemnation, I and the people around me who are counseling me, will focus on that rather than on my unwillingness to completely surrender to the Holy Spirit.” Self-condemnation is a more attractive consequence for past sins than the work necessary to live a disciplined life. it is a form of sprititual laziness. “If I keep my expectations low, then so will the body of Christ, and I do not have to fear the accountability that accompanies being part of the covenant community.
I have had tremendous success by simply admonishing my counselees…”Forgiving yourself is not an option. Forgiving others is an obligation and accepting the forgiveness offered to you by faith in Jesus Christ is all-important.” “Do not struggle with something that is not commanded of you… in fact, stop trying to do something that is not only not commanded in scripture, but for which there is not even a provision to do so…”
It’s like someone being consumed and depressed by the failure to know what happened to the Ark of the Covenant.
I have a big problem with this and it is not pride, it is shame. I KNOW Jesus forgave me; it is other people I have the problem with. I had a terrible, abusive childhood; and I was married several times prior to dedicating my life to Christ, joining a church, and really want to spend the rest of my life learning more and walking close to God. However, I feel so inferior as everyone in my church is older and have great families, and if they’re not married, it is because the spouse died or left THEM. I believe I’m saved and forgiven but that it’s too late for me to be a “model” Christian. How can I consider someday teaching a Sunday School class or counselling youth when I have such a terrible past? As I said, I KNOW my sins are forgiven. I don’t have a problem forgiving others (as a matter of fact, I am quite tolerant of them) mainly because I think I feel if something bad happened, somehow it was my fault. So is this that “unrepentant rebellion”?? If so, how do I change that? Have any good Scriptures?
I’d really like to hear an answer to Kay Johnson’s situation.
“Forgive Yourself” is a very good devotion. Many of us spend way too much time looking in the “rearview mirror”, so to speak. I think we can “know” these truths intellectually, BUT if we’re honest, our past mistakes will come back to haunt us. I think this goes back to putting on the FULL armor of God. I have found when this happens to me, I immediately pray to God and thank Him for His forgiveness and confirm I’m leaving these past issues at the Cross with Jesus, where they belong. Several years ago this was not the case for me, at that time I didn’t have a relationship with God, I felt like I was in a real spiritual battle, satan is aware of our weakness and therefore if we let satan open that little crack and get his foot in the door, we have problems. I want to assure you, this has nothing to do with my strength or ability, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus Philippians 4:7
God Bless you all!
Judy
Thank you for reminding me that I do need to “forgive myself”. Yes, I know God has forgiven me and His mercy endures forever. But when I see my youngest son hurting so, because of the poor choices I made when he was a child it breaks my heart. He is 46 years old. I am thankful for God’s mercy and forgiveness and I’m trusting Him to redeem my child. Thank you for your devotionals.
In Response to Kay Johnson:
Many of us have felt the pain of abuse and we each deal with it in different ways.Rest assured that God knows exactly what you have been through (He knew us before we were born-Jeremiah 1:5).Only a person who has experience the pain of abuse can help others in similar situations.Trust that God had a purpose in allowing your life events & strive to be a inspiration to others.Find the niche God has prepared for you-in advance-to teach in a Sunday School class for adults with similar heartaches.Jesus is our husband,so if you are single-you can be in a perfect relationship with Him.He loves you and has special work for you.Don’t look at others for your example-only look to Christ as your example.Teach others how to be overcomers, and warriors for the kingdom.Keep looking up and stay focused on the word,fill your heart with the Holy Spirit and the joy of the abundant life will be yours.
I think it really is the word forgiveness that people get hung up on. We have to filter everything through the Word of God, not through a secular world view. Unfortunately, no matter how schooled or close our walk with the Lord will still have some resistant world views that want to hang on. Forgiveness is walking in complete love, the covering of one’s sins. Therefore, we must “forgive” ourselves before we are capable of forgiving others. Have you ever treated someone so badly that when you think of it your stomach knots? You must forgive yourself for that action to be capable of forgiving others for their trespasses. That is the biblical prinicple of “loving your neighbor AS yourself”. You really must love yourself first. However, we must look at this concept through the Word of God and shed all worldy conotations to see the truth and God’s purpose for our life.
What a diverse assortment of reactions to this devotional! I remember reading it last year, and revisited it (along with others) this morning on my way to something else on the website! After mulling over all the responses, and realizing this happens through the filter of my own life experience, I’d like to add a thought. First, a snapshot of my perspective: I was raised from infancy until I returned to the States to enter Asbury College on various Asian mission fields. My life has been saturated with the Word from my earliest memories to this day. I, like all of us, have experienced defeat and failure on my journey toward Christlikeness. What I took away from Boyd’s devotional was not so much the need to “forgive myself” (which I understood as his way of using words to convey a deep truth). Rather, I would respectfully rephrase it to something like the need to ACCEPT by faith the total forgiveness of my confessed sins and failures. For me, it is a matter of BELIEVING what the Word says the blood of Christ has done on my behalf. Therein lies the challenge. Not only do we wrestle with lingering regret over lost opportunities and sometimes, major changes in the “landscape” of our lives becaue of our sins; but also we encounter demonic temptation to disbelieve. No different than in the Garden, when the Liar asked, “Hasn’t God said….?” and distorted the Truth. He is the Accuser, remember that! Much of what we may consider our own inability or refusal to “forgive ourselves” may be either a stronghold of personal regret…or direct combat with false accusations.
I regret the suggestion that those who are struggling with accepting and applying the forgiveness that Jesus won at Calvary as being evidence of “rebellion.” That may be true in some cases. But those who staggar under a needless weight of false guilt & regret don’t need yet another brick laid on their backs! “You are being rebellious somewhere in your life.” They need to hear the challenge: “Believe the Truth! Accept by faith what you can’t yet emotionally fathom. IT IS FINISHED, He said. You are justified if you have truly repented and are His child. “Just-as-if-I’d” never done it!!
Carol McClain HIT IT ON THE HEAD! We were chosen and forgiven by God our Father “…before the foundation of the world was formed” and – “Accepted in the Beloved” – Ephesians 1:3-7. God has already done the forgiving, we just have to ACCEPT IT (Ps. 103:12-14) and not believe THE LIAR, that there is something more WE HAVE TO DO! It’s all about GOD and HIS grace. Just as salvation is by faith (John 3:16), the victorious life (which brings the personanal acceptance of ourselves AND the joy) is by faith (and not by works). It’s a CHOICE! (Romans 5:1-2) Check out Romans 8:29 & 30.
Kay,
There is no model Christian. We are all sinners, none better then another. As Jesus points out in
Mark 10:18 (NIV), “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone.
You can teach Sunday school; you can lead, teach, and testify to individuals and groups–small and large; you can council, comfort, and share the love of Christ w/the saved and w/God’s lost sheep; you can do these things b/c you are saved.
Consider the life of Saul, a persecutor of Christians, renamed and better known as Paul and author of most of the New Testament:
Acts 22:1-21 (NIV)
“Brothers and fathers, listen now to my defense.” [2] When they heard him speak to them in Aramaic, they became very quiet. Then Paul said: [3] “I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city. Under Gamaliel I was thoroughly trained in the law of our fathers and was just as zealous for God as any of you are today. [4] I persecuted the followers of this Way to their death, arresting both men and women and throwing them into prison, [5] as also the high priest and all the Council can testify. I even obtained letters from them to their brothers in Damascus, and went there to bring these people as prisoners to Jerusalem to be punished. [6] “About noon as I came near Damascus, suddenly a bright light from heaven flashed around me. [7] I fell to the ground and heard a voice say to me, `Saul! Saul! Why do you persecute me?’ [8] ” `Who are you, Lord?’ I asked. ” `I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you are persecuting,’ he replied. [9] My companions saw the light, but they did not understand the voice of him who was speaking to me. [10] ” `What shall I do, Lord?’ I asked. ” `Get up,’ the Lord said, `and go into Damascus. There you will be told all that you have been assigned to do.’ [11] My companions led me by the hand into Damascus, because the brilliance of the light had blinded me. [12] “A man named Ananias came to see me. He was a devout observer of the law and highly respected by all the Jews living there. [13] He stood beside me and said, `Brother Saul, receive your sight!’ And at that very moment I was able to see him. [14] “Then he said: `The God of our fathers has chosen you to know his will and to see the Righteous One and to hear words from his mouth. [15] You will be his witness to all men of what you have seen and heard. [16] And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.’ [17] “When I returned to Jerusalem and was praying at the temple, I fell into a trance [18] and saw the Lord speaking. `Quick!’ he said to me. `Leave Jerusalem immediately, because they will not accept your testimony about me.’ [19] ” `Lord,’ I replied, `these men know that I went from one synagogue to another to imprison and beat those who believe in you. [20] And when the blood of your martyr Stephen was shed, I stood there giving my approval and guarding the clothes of those who were killing him.’ [21] “Then the Lord said to me, `Go; I will send you far away to the Gentiles.’ ”
Paul repeats his testimony before King Agrippa:
Acts 26:2-32 (NIV)
“King Agrippa, I consider myself fortunate to stand before you today as I make my defense against all the accusations of the Jews, [3] and especially so because you are well acquainted with all the Jewish customs and controversies. Therefore, I beg you to listen to me patiently. [4] “The Jews all know the way I have lived ever since I was a child, from the beginning of my life in my own country, and also in Jerusalem. [5] They have known me for a long time and can testify, if they are willing, that according to the strictest sect of our religion, I lived as a Pharisee. [6] And now it is because of my hope in what God has promised our fathers that I am on trial today. [7] This is the promise our twelve tribes are hoping to see fulfilled as they earnestly serve God day and night. O king, it is because of this hope that the Jews are accusing me. [8] Why should any of you consider it incredible that God raises the dead? [9] “I too was convinced that I ought to do all that was possible to oppose the name of Jesus of Nazareth. [10] And that is just what I did in Jerusalem. On the authority of the chief priests I put many of the saints in prison, and when they were put to death, I cast my vote against them. [11] Many a time I went from one synagogue to another to have them punished, and I tried to force them to blaspheme. In my obsession against them, I even went to foreign cities to persecute them. [12] “On one of these journeys I was going to Damascus with the authority and commission of the chief priests. [13] About noon, O king, as I was on the road, I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, blazing around me and my companions. [14] We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic, `Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ [15] “Then I asked, `Who are you, Lord?’ ” `I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ the Lord replied. [16] `Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen of me and what I will show you. [17] I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them [18] to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’ [19] “So then, King Agrippa, I was not disobedient to the vision from heaven. [20] First to those in Damascus, then to those in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and to the Gentiles also, I preached that they should repent and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds. [21] That is why the Jews seized me in the temple courts and tried to kill me. [22] But I have had God’s help to this very day, and so I stand here and testify to small and great alike. I am saying nothing beyond what the prophets and Moses said would happen— [23] that the Christ would suffer and, as the first to rise from the dead, would proclaim light to his own people and to the Gentiles.” [24] At this point Festus interrupted Paul’s defense. “You are out of your mind, Paul!” he shouted. “Your great learning is driving you insane.” [25] “I am not insane, most excellent Festus,” Paul replied. “What I am saying is true and reasonable. [26] The king is familiar with these things, and I can speak freely to him. I am convinced that none of this has escaped his notice, because it was not done in a corner. [27] King Agrippa, do you believe the prophets? I know you do.” [28] Then Agrippa said to Paul, “Do you think that in such a short time you can persuade me to be a Christian?” [29] Paul replied, “Short time or long—I pray God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains.” [30] The king rose, and with him the governor and Bernice and those sitting with them. [31] They left the room, and while talking with one another, they said, “This man is not doing anything that deserves death or imprisonment.” [32] Agrippa said to Festus, “This man could have been set free if he had not appealed to Caesar.”
Paul knew he could have been freed, but he obeyed the Lord:
Acts 23:11 (NIV)
The following night the Lord stood near Paul and said, “Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome.”
You are loved by God…. you are forgiven…. you are not bound by worldly standards of what it means to be a “model.” The only “model” of anything we are, are model sinners. Thankfully, accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior washes that title from us.
Encouraged by the Holy Spirit, I share this with you in the name and love of our Savior, Jesus.
ps, check out gotquestions.org, excellent scripture-based responses to our questions…. you might want to see what they have to say about being a “model Christian.”
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FORGIVE OUR SELF ? AND HOW DO I REALLY DO THIS ? HOW DO I REALLY RECIEVE GOD’S FORGIVENESS AFTER I HAVE FAILED HIM SO MUCH ?
In response to Brenda:
Of course you have failed him, we ALL have. We all fall short of the Glory of God but noting can seperate us from his love. It is an unconditional love freely given. We sin. He may be disapointed or even angry at times but he is still loving us. I tell my children this truth all the time there is nothing they can say or do that would make me stop loving them. I can get pretty upset and not want to talk to them or be around them but the love is still there. Jesus first words on the cross, “Forgive them father.” He did not wait for man to become good enough to die for us. If he had we would all still be waithing. He died for us because he loves us plain and simple and awe inspiring. He IS love. Just love him back. 🙂 I pray he reaches down and gives you a spiritual hug that you can feel his warmth and love. (((HUGS)))
Romans 12:2 (King James Version)
2And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
I am in agreement that we need to get into agreement with the Word of God, and not be stuck in the vain imaginations of our mind that tell us we are guilty and that what Christ did for us wasn’t enough. We are forgiven. We must accept and receive that as truth for us. Otherwise, we are saying that what God did for us was not enough.
Love to All,
Teresa J.
In answer to Kay Johnson who says:
January 9th, 2011 at 2:02 am
I feel so inferior
You are a child of the King of kings!! You are royalty!! He died for each of us… knowing that we are not worthy, but loving us anyway!!
You wrote:
How can I consider someday teaching a Sunday School class or counselling youth when I have such a terrible past?
Look again into the Bible…. who was Peter? Who was king David? They had committed some really horrible things in their lives before Christ. But what powerhouses they became.
If you feel called to serve as a teacher, then prepare to do that. Pray: “Here am I, send me” He will fill you with the Holy Spirit, who will guide you, uplift you, and teach you what you need to do. None of us can DO what’s right unless we allow God to FILL us!! Your “past” can be used to uplift others who have been or are in the same situations you’ve endured…. giving THEM hope in Christ.
Read Philippians 4:6-7 which explains that we are not to worry. Read verse 8, which (I believe) is instruction on HOW to USE our brains to live the kind of life God wants for us.
You ARE forgiven…. go forth and serve those who need your testimony. God bless you every day.
Thankyou so much for the words of wisdom. I was in great need of this scripture today.
I absolutely needed this today. I don’t know if I am in rebellion or just not believing the Lord which I suspect but I do know this type of encouragement helps. I think I just forget…….
But as I said that I remembered the scripture that talks about looking in the mirror and walking away and forgetting what he looks like.
Well I dont forget what I look like, I concentrate too much on me and not on Christ and his redemption of me.
Thanks again