May 22, 2014

Emotional Unfaithfulness

Written by Boyd Bailey

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – May 22, 2014

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ ‘But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.’” Matthew 5:27-28

There is a constant allure for emotional connection between a woman and a man. A pure motive of care for someone other than your spouse can easily turn into emotional unfaithfulness. An emotionally needy woman at work will give signs to seeking men who are unfulfilled at home. It seems exciting and inviting, but in the end—it wrecks homes.

This juvenile junket flies in the face of what Jesus wants and expects. Married couples are meant to fulfill their emotional needs within their marriage experience. This is why it’s imperative to process past and present pain in a healthy manner, so communication and care flourish, thus feeding each other’s emotional desires. Husbands and wives hunger for emotional wholeness with the one they have become “one flesh” with, under God’s purview.

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

Is the bond with your spouse beyond superficial sex? Remember the long talks before you were married—when was the last time you processed your feelings together in meaningful conversation? It may mean holding hands, looking each other in the eyes, and apologizing for hurting his or her heart. Engaged emotions stay engaged.

Husbands, if you are emotionally dead you will kill your marriage. Learn to loosen up and express how you feel. Yes, it is uncomfortable to be vulnerable, but this is a process that God blesses in growing your relationship with your wife. And wives, do not look for emotional support from men other than your husband. Stay focused on Christ’s comfort, seek out professional help to heal your heart—and learn how to approach your husband.

Emotional faithfulness causes a marriage to flourish with fulfilling encounters of loving communication and care. A statement like, “I am sorry you had to experience that pain”, begins to describe your dialogue. You simply listen and enter into their hurting heart, instead of prescribing solutions and offering pep talks. Emotional fidelity finds a home in relationships that seek to understand, comfort, and offer hope and timely truth.

Most of all—seek truth found in God’s word together. Ignorance of proven principles that build healthy marriages is a recipe for relational disaster. Invite the Holy Spirit to jointly instruct your minds and knit your humble hearts together in love and kindness. Seek out other married couples to learn from who are good models of emotional faithfulness.

“That their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:2-3).

Prayer: What relationship do I need to avoid because it is creating emotional unfaithfulness in me?

Related Readings: Genesis 2:18a; Proverbs 15:1; 29:11; Matthew 7:1; 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Post/Tweet today: Emotional faithfulness can help a marriage flourish with fulfilling encounters of loving communication and care. #wisdomhunters

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© 2014 by Boyd Bailey. All rights reserved.


  1. RaDonna Lanterman says:

    Not all emotional or other affairs are due to being unfulfilled at home. Some men and women enjoy the attention from the opposite sex. Please don’t set the tone that if a man or a woman has an affair of any kind outside of their marriage it is because they are being unfulfilled at home. That is misleading and hurtful. Some men and women are unfilled with the love of Christ so they seek attention from others because it feeds their ego and their selfish fleshly desires. Affairs are fun to the two involved.

    1. Gwynne says:

      Dear Ramona~ Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us with your thought provoking comments. We also enjoy hearing from our wisdom hunters friends. However, I have to respectfully disagree with your statements.
      Please know that nothing in this devotional was meant to be misleading or hurtful, but instead the devotional is meant to bring clarity and understanding about the precious gift of marriage that God gives to His children.
      Also, if a man or woman is “unfilled with the love of Christ so they seek attention from others”, we need to pray, as the body of Christ, for them because they are looking to fill a void only God can fill.

      “We should share each other’s troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” Gal.6:2

      Also, Ramona, your last comment “Affairs are fun for the two involved” really had me thinking and looking into the Word of God. (I thank you for that, because I loved to be challenged to the point I dive into the Word for His Wisdom!!). Again, please allow me to respectfully disagree with you.
      God gives us so many wise words of guidance regarding His plan for us in marriage~ not to control us but because He loves us so much and wants us to honor this beautiful and sacred gift (marriage). Affairs break the blessing of trust and they do hurt others.
      Ramona, I fear that I am getting too “preachy” and don’t want to sound judgemental, so accept my apologies if I do. Please know that if you would like to continue this dialogue, I would be more than happy to do that. Please feel free to contact me at
      I rejoice in the fact that Our Heavenly Father is a God of Love and Forgiveness and I Praise Him for He is a God of second chances!!(And we all need that!)
      We are so thankful that you are a fellow wisdomhunter!
      “Marriage should re honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexual immoral.” Hebrews 13:4

      1. Pam Williams says:

        I agree with you Gwynne. I am a married female and do enjoy the company of a male to dialogue with. However, I have been victimized several times throughout my life by befriending men just to be friends. They tried to take my friendship in a sexual direction which never crossed my mind to do and left me running away fast before anything could happen. So I have to say talking with females is safer and avoids a lot misconceived ideas.

        1. Gwynne says:

          Dear Pam~ Thank you so much for your personal examples that confirm the importance of “guarding your heart”.

          “Above all else, guard your heart,
          for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23

          I appreciate your transparency in sharing your warning, because you may have “spoken to” a fellow wisdom hunter reading this and helped them with their choices.

          Believing and trusting~

      2. Pam Williams says:

        I agree with you Gwynne. I enjoy dialogue with male company but, as a married female, more than once I have found myself running for my life out of situations that turned south because the men attempted to use my friendship for sexual gratification. Sad but true, Satan has infected the minds of some men to view women for sexual exploitation that forces us to pick and choose only females for friendships.

        1. Gwynne says:

          Once again, Pam, I thank you for your willingness to reach out to us with your personal comments regarding “emotional unfaithfulness”. My guess is that you are not alone in this and I appreciate you sharing this, so others may learn.
          Thank you so much for contacting us and we will look forward to hearing from you again someday.
          Blessings to you and yours.
          We are so thankful that you are a fellow wisdom hunter.

          Believing and trusting~

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