February 17, 2017

Emotional Intelligence Engages the Heart

Written by Boyd Bailey

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – February 17, 2017

Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds.  Proverbs 27:23

We all have a “flock” we nurture and care for. Perhaps it’s your family that sees you as the shepherd to help move everyone in the right direction. You may find yourself the undesignated team leader at work where other team members respect your judgment and decision-making. Or, you have a small group of friends who default to your influence when faced with uncertainty. Wherever you find your flock, it’s wise to really know them.

Shepherding relationships takes a ton of time and discernment. Individuals are wired differently, so it’s important to know what motivates them. Introverts may need quality conversation and extroverts continual encouragement. The insecure need confidence and the secure need accountability. Take the time to understand the fears, hopes and dreams of those you serve. Your emotional intelligence grows when you dare to care.

“And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them” (Psalm 72:78).

The temptation of leaders is to disconnect from their emotional intelligence. However, emotionally disengaged leaders miss half the leadership equation. The “science” of leadership is analysis and problem solving. The “art” of leadership is motivation and relational understanding. If you are just logical you can forget to love well by discerning what people are feeling. Facts travel down the tracks of feelings that result in action.

So begin with a personal emotional assessment. Use your own emotional understanding as a baseline for engaging others. Pray for others and you will begin to feel their pain and their pride of work. Emotionally mature leaders learn to ask many more questions and offer fewer answers. Understand your flock and then lead them to discover their needs. Do I take the time to be a student of those I serve? Do I connect with them on an emotional level?

“Live with your wives in an understanding way” (1 Peter 3:7 NASB).

 

Prayer

Heavenly Father, give me compassion to engage another’s heart and discern their emotional needs.

Application

Who needs my presence and listening ear so they feel understood by me?

Related Reading

Genesis 33:13; Ezekiel 34:22-31; John 21:15-17; 1 Peter 5:2

Post/Tweet today

Emotionally mature leaders learn to ask many more questions and offer fewer answers. #wisdomhunters #emotionalintelligence

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Comments

  1. Gary Craig says:

    Are there resources for those of us who lack emotional intelligence or have no clue what it is?

    1. Gwynne says:

      Dear Gary,
      Thank you for your question and while I am quite sure you do not “lack emotional intelligence” (as you stated), I appreciate you want to be clear on what it is. I am thankful for your question because it motivated me to pursue the subject and dig into our holy rule book, the Bible. So, thank you!

      According to “Psychology Today” (www.psychologytoday.com), their definition of emotional intelligence is: “the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include 3 skills (1) emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others (2) the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving and (3) the ability to manage emotions including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability to cheer up or calm down another person.”

      So now that we understand what it is, how do we as believers “steward” our emotional intelligence? Boyd’s devotional “Emotional Intelligence Engages the Heart” helps us with that. He reminds us to “Take the time to understand the fears, hopes and dreams of those you serve.”
      “Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give attention to your herds.” Proverbs 27:23

      There is a great article by M. Blaine Smith from Nehemiah Ministries titled “Emotional Intelligence for the Christian”. (www.nehemiahministries.com/Elchap1.htm) that might also answer some of your questions. It includes scripture that speaks to the heart of emotional intelligence.

      In Phil 2: 13 Paul says, “for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose.” I think that Paul is telling us here that God is motivating us to take some steps with our life and as we do that, we will get a glimpse into wants He wants us to do (for ourselves and for others). How better can we prepare to “know our flock” and serve others?

      The Bible has so many scripture verses regarding guarding your heart, dealing with anger, loving and serving others that reminds us, as believers, what we can actually do to grow in our “emotional intelligence”. Here are a few:

      Guarding you heart:
      “Search me, O Lord and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
      See if there is any offensive way in me,
      and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

      “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”
      Proverbs 4:23 (one of my favorites!)

      Anger:
      “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
      Proverbs 15:1

      “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”
      James 1:19-20

      As you can see Gary, God provides us with many instructions on how to live and how to love and serve others.
      Just one more thing: Boyd stated in this devotional, “So begin with a personal emotional assessment. Use your own emotional understanding as a baseline for engaging others. Pray for others and you will begin to feel their pain and ride of work.” Can you imagine what an effective “kingdom warrior” we can be with the gift on our side?

      Thank you again for reaching out to us. We are grateful that you are a part of the Wisdom Hunter’s family.
      We look forward to hearing from you again.
      Believing and trusting,
      Gwynn


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