February 5, 2020

Emotional Engagement

Written by Boyd Bailey

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – February 5, 2020

Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together. Matthew 19:4-6, NLT

A marriage at its best enjoys emotional engagement. Like our relationship with the Lord, our marriage is a lifelong process of becoming one—unified around God’s love and love for one another. Love is the emotional tip of the spear to poke and prod us toward authenticity. There are times I avoid emotional engagement because my skills in expressing how I feel seem inferior to my wife Rita’s. I lack confidence, so I close down. Not wise. If I fail to engage emotionally for fear of being misunderstood, I miss growing in intimacy with my best friend. Thankfully, Rita gives me space and love so I can trust her with my emotional missteps. We are learning together to love each other through our fears and fatigue. Love engages emotionally.

Jesus beautifully describes God’s game plan from the beginning. Our Creator has two distinct human creations: one is male and one is female. The man with a unique temperament of maleness and the woman one of femaleness, yet they both help the other grow tough and tender under the influence of the Holy Spirit’s love. As husband and wife they leave their parents and commit to a life of love and loyalty to each other. Honor for their parents is still intact, but now they are emotionally engaged with each other. Emotional vulnerabilities repurposed, now united into one. 

“Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up” (1 Corinthians 13:6-7, TPT).

Has your marriage’s emotional engagement plateaued or is it spiraling downward? Take a quick assessment on some marriage emotional indicators. Do we place a high value on emotional engagement in our relationship? Do we feel safe sharing how we feel with each other? Do we feel love and acceptance when we share intimate thoughts? Do we embrace or avoid healthy conflict? Do we have trusted couples we can process our pain and celebrate our joys with? Do we have a seasoned Christian marriage counselor we can meet with to grow our emotional fitness? Do we pray together and do we pray for each other in our private prayer time?

The Lord has brought you together as His beloved—united by His love. A prerequisite for your marital emotional engagement is being throughly loved by the divine community of Father, Son and Spirit. Receive the Father’s loving acceptance, the Son’s loving encouragement and the Spirit’s loving instruction. As you abide in love from above, you are able to freely love below. Let your heart be loved by the Lord, and as you love Him with all your heart, your heart will love your spouse at the highest level. Marriage emotional engagement spoils the enemy’s ploys! 

“When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love” (1Corinthians 13:11-13, MSG).

Prayer

Heavenly Father, give us courage to emotionally engage in our marriage relationship, in Jesus’ name. Amen.


Application

Who is a trusted, seasoned Christian counselor we can meet with to grow in our emotional fitness?


Related Reading

Job 6:25; Proverbs 22:21, 24:26; 2 Thessalonians 2:10; 1 Peter 1:22


Post/Tweet today

As we abide in love from above, we are able to freely love below. #WisdomHunters #engaged #truth #Jesus


Worship Resource

5 minute video – Passion: 


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