February 14, 2011

Appointments for Love

Written by Wisdom Hunters

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today- February 14, 2009

“Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom—there I will give you my love.” Song of Songs 7:12

Many things compete with our marriages. Work competes with our marriages. Children compete with our marriages. Parents compete with our marriages. Money competes with our marriages. Hobbies compete with our marriages. Friends compete with our marriages. Volunteerism competes with our marriages. Our own selfish desires compete with our marriages. Life in general competes with our marriages.

So, it is wise to transform this competition to our marriages, into a compliment to our marriages. When we make marriage a priority, the other important things that clamor for our attention, become secondary and supportive. Marriage is not meant to get the leftovers of our lives. Its vitality will melt in the face of neglect. Yet, if we are intentional with our marriage appointments, it will flourish with freshness and energy.

Indeed, something in our life becomes a priority when it is recognized and embraced by our calendar. A marriage void of calendared appointments is a candidate for indifference with intimacy. Husbands and wives need focused and quantity time with each other. Quality time flows out of quantity time, and is a consequence of a distraction-less environment. Cell phones are silenced, and there is a cease-fire from interruptions. There is a ‘fast’ from e-mail, so there can be focus on friendship. Co-existing does not create intimacy in marriage, but intentionality toward intimacy does.

Therefore, make an appointment to love your spouse. Pull out your calendars and create a time for just the two of you. The best gift you give to your children, next to faith in God, is a healthy marriage. Make an appointment for emotional love. Make an appointment for physical love. And make an appointment for relational love. Emotional love may be unfiltered listening and learning about the fears and fantasies of the other. Make your spouse feel secure by being trustworthy and respectful. Listen intently to their struggles and disappointments. Emotional love thrives on unconditional care and concern.

Secondly, facilitate physical love. Fatigue and busyness are twin tyrants looming over physical love. However, you can dethrone these tyrants with focused time. Romance one another with a date night. Dress up and smell good, as if it were a grand occasion. Woo each other with the fire and excitement of youth. Yes, physical intimacy needs to be planned and prepared, and any spontaneous rendezvous become dessert to your dates.

Lastly, regularly rejuvenate relational love, as your spouse’s best friend. Enjoy a hobby together. Read a book together. Watch a movie together. Love on each other with written notes and acts of service. It may even be working on a project around the house or planning the finances. Make relational deposits in your marriage and your bank account of intimacy will increase. Above all else, make an appointment to love God, and be loved by God. Your spouse will love you better, if they love Jesus more than they love you.

How can I create a romantic environment my spouse would love and appreciate?

Related Readings: Song of Solomon 1:1-17; 2:14-17; 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Additional Resource: Look next week for the free e-book, Wisdom for Dads: Eleven Daddy/Daughter dates in 2011.

Additional Resource: Learn from Russ Crosson’s video blog, “Raising godly sons”, click here… http://bit.ly/ik4tjV


  1. Mimi says:

    This article is so beautifully written and it covers all aspects of marriage. Thank you for the wonderful guidelines. I gained so much from the Godly suggestions that were laid out in this article.

  2. Donna Nall says:

    It is a gift when you read something that is so wise and true. Reading your blog provides not just the what and why, but the how. Thank you, Boyd. Keep up the good work. I will share your blog with others.

  3. Boomer says:

    That definately is a good read. I wish I had read it and had it around a long time ago. It definately would have saved my marriage. But i will NOT forget it now, allbeit too late… but i will live by it now. Here’s to hoping we can work things out with Gods help. Love you my family and God. Peace and God bless.

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