“You’re submitting to Christ by honoring your spouse.”
Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – February 13, 2026
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21
Marriage is a matter of submission. Not the coerced, one-sided, power-grabbing kind the world practices or fears. Biblical submission is the fine art of cooperation and compromise. Two people mutually yielding, serving, and prioritizing each other out of deep reverence for Christ. Your respect, worship, and love for God create the environment in which this level of submission flourishes. Apart from the Lord, mutual submission becomes impossible because selfishness dominates. But when both partners bow to Jesus first, they can bow to each other second.
Submission means you align with your spouse’s mission. You engage with their God-given purpose. You help them accomplish their goals and desires. This isn’t passive acquiescence or doormat living. It’s an active partnership that champions what God has placed in your spouse’s heart, even when it costs you convenience. Supporting your spouse’s calling might require relocating, adjusting career plans, temporarily shouldering more household responsibilities, or releasing control over how things get done. But the rewards are tremendous. When a man or woman develops their God-given desires, it strengthens the marriage. Resentment builds when one spouse crushes the other’s dreams or gifts. But flourishing happens when both partners actively champion each other’s callings. Your spouse becomes more fully themselves—more joyful, purposeful, and alive—when you help them pursue what God has planted in their heart.
What does mutual submission look like in practice? You work through conflict by focusing on the problem rather than attacking personalities. Instead of “You always…” or “You never…”, you say, “This situation frustrates me. How can we solve it together?” The issue becomes the enemy, not each other. Your decision-making process includes each other’s perspectives. Major choices: financial, relational, and vocational aren’t unilateral announcements but collaborative conversations. You value your spouse’s input and seek their wisdom before finalizing direction. You learn to listen and communicate with compassion. Listening doesn’t mean waiting for your turn to talk. It means truly hearing your spouse’s heart—understanding their fears, hopes, and needs without immediately defending yourself or dismissing their feelings.
Notice Paul’s foundation: “out of reverence for Christ.” This isn’t submission driven by fear, duty, or manipulation. It flows from reverence, deep respect, awe, and worship of Jesus. When you truly revere Christ, you ask, “How would Jesus want me to treat my spouse?” The answer is always: sacrificially, humbly, patiently, kindly. Jesus didn’t demand His rights or lord His authority over others. He served, washed feet, and laid down His life. That’s the model for Christian marriage. Reverence for Christ also provides the power to submit when it’s hard. Your spouse will disappoint you. They’ll be selfish at times. They’ll fail to submit. In those moments, your reverence for Christ sustains you. You’re not ultimately submitting to your imperfect spouse; you’re submitting to Christ by honoring your spouse. This is the Christian’s labor of love.
Our Lifegroup, which has been together for 14 years and includes four other married couples, has become a living picture of Christ’s relationship with the Church: mutual love, sacrifice, and honor. They model something radically different from selfishness, manipulation, or competition. So submit to one another. Get under each other’s mission. Champion your spouse’s calling. Work through conflict with grace. Listen with compassion. Decide together. All out of reverence for Christ. That’s a marriage that glorifies God and grows together in community with other couples.
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
Prayer
Lord, let Christ be the center of our marriage. Help us love sacrificially and forgive quickly. May our union reflect Your grace as we grow closer to You together. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Application
Meet with another couple who has a Christ-centered marriage, and learn from them.
Related Reading
Ecclesiastes 4:12; Song of Solomon 8:6; Ephesians 5:25; Colossians 3:13-14
Worship Resource
Bryan & Katie Torwalt: Abide
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