Marriage Conflict… “When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would.” 2 Samuel 6:20
Each should feel like they have collaborated on the solution, not just a passive win/win where one begrudgingly capitulates to the pressure and manipulation of another. Conflict resolution in marriage is the process of honoring and understanding another for the purpose of serving them at their point of need. It is an others first attitude.
So when your wife desires to visit her parents over the holiday, you do everything you can to work it out. Or, if your husband longs for time with the two of you alone, you see the financial expense of an overnight stay in a hotel as an investment in your marriage, rather than an unneeded expenditure. When there are certain things your spouse feels strongly about, understand those and seek to love them through this sensitive area.
Marriage is not a ‘give and take’, it is a ‘give and give’. Both giving to the other for Christ’s sake. You give time, you give respect, you give love, you give money, you give yard work, you give housework, you give parenting, you give to others, and you give to God. You give in marriage because of and for God’s glory to shine through your home.
Does your husband serve as the spiritual leader of the home? Do you serve and support your wife with domestic responsibilities? Do both of you bow to the Lord as the owner of your household? Apply Christ’s expectations of respect and love and you will both win.
Do not become defensive, overbearing or harsh. Let your speech be seasoned with grace. Let your face reflect care and compassion. Assume the other has your best interests in mind. You can say the right words the wrong way and it will make things worse. You can say the wrong words the right way and it will lead to confusion. Or, you can say the right words the right way and everyone is happy. Be sensitive to speak the truth in love.
But, what about the disputes that remain unresolved? There may need to be professional help or the need of a mentoring couple to listen and give counsel. Above all, keep Christ central and in humility extend mercy and grace. Seek to out serve each other.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
How can I best honor my spouse through marital conflict? Who is a wise mentor couple we can learn from and share our frustrations?
What did I learn from the Lord in today’s Bible reading? How will I respond?
August 26, 2019
Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – August 26, 2019 I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. John 10:14 A pastor friend has quietly and faithfully loved his flock [...]
August 24, 2019
Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – August 24, 2019 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 Time and time again, Paul invites the people in his care to live a holistic, integrated life. It is a timeless encouragement to be [...]