February 12, 2020

Loving Questions

Written by Boyd Bailey

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – February 12, 2020

Looking at his gentle face I see such fullness of emotion. Like a lovely garden where fragrant spices grow— what a man! No one speaks words so anointed as this one— words that both pierce and heal, words like lilies dripping with myrrh. Song of Songs 5:13, The Passion Translation

Three questions my wife, Rita and I are attempting to work into our weekly conversations:

  1. How did I make you feel loved last week?
  2. How can I make you feel loved this week?
  3. How can I pray for you?

At first I did not like the word feel, because feelings can betray me, but they can also connect me to my bride. So, I have to get over the fear of being led astray by my emotions or the fear of being unable to express what I feel. Here’s what I am learning: I may think I am “hitting the bull’s eye” in my efforts to love my wife well, but in reality I am not even grazing the target, ha! So Rita patiently clarifies, “You made me feel loved when you told me about your day: the good, bad, and the ugly. I was able to connect with your authentic self”. Questions can draw out healthy feelings, which grow healthy relationships. Not always efficient, but certainly effective.

Solomon, with real life insight, describes a man and a woman who are emotionally engaged. He starts with the gentle face of the man, full of emotion, which communicates, “Yes, I love you and you are the full focus of my attention”. The beautiful illustration of a luscious garden, dripping with dew, brilliant colors on display with the smell of earthy soil giving life to the intoxicating fragrance of flowers, emitting an almost hypnotic effect. What a picture of a growing marriage! 

“With tender humility and quiet patience, always demonstrate gentleness and generous love toward one another, especially toward those who may try your patience” (Ephesians 4:2, TPT).

Are feelings your friend or your enemy? When you submit your feelings to faith in the Lord and surrender them to the love of God, you have found a friend. Emotions can be a friend who helps you grow intimate with the one who deserves your best love. Feelings disciplined by faith and wrapped in love bring out the best for the object of its affection. So, be vulnerable. Cry. From time to time authenticity may mean misunderstanding or pain, but the authentic fruit of heart connection, soul care and freedom from truth at work is well worth the process. Heart engagement with the Lord and others is necessary for truth to transform us more like Christ.

Above all, ask the Lord helpful questions, so you can connect into the depths of His love. Questions like: 1) Dear Lord, how do you love me right now? 2) Precious Jesus, how do you want me to love those hard to love? 3) Heavenly Father, I feel rejected by a friend, how do you feel about me? Fear flees in the face of divine love. Love Him with your heart to know His heart! When we get real with our Savior, He reveals His will, and He brings comfort. Ask loving questions. 

“You are always and dearly loved by God! So robe yourself with virtues of God, since you have been divinely chosen to be holy. Be merciful as you endeavor to understand others, and be compassionate, showing kindness toward all. Be gentle and humble, unoffendable in your patience with others” (Colossians 3:12, TPT).


Dear Lord, give me the courage to share my authentic self with you and those who know me the best and love me the most, in Jesus’ name, amen.


How can I establish a weekly rhythm so I can ask my spouse intimate questions to grow our love for each other?

Related Reading

Psalm 26:3; Proverbs 20:28; Ephesians 4:2; 1 Timothy 6:11

Post/Tweet today

Feelings disciplined by faith and wrapped in love bring out the best for the object of its affection. #WisdomHunters #questions #truth #Jesus

Worship Resource

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