“Like Jesus, reference the Scripture as your marriage handbook on how to relate to one another in love.”
Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – February 13, 2023
He [Jesus] explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself…Then opened he [Jesus] their understanding, that they might understand the Scriptures. Luke 24:27, 45
Misunderstanding is the mother of conflict, pain, and hurt feelings. On the other hand, understanding clarifies, builds trust, heals hurt, and grows relationships. I see this in marriage; even after many decades of being students of each other, Rita and I still have to work at understanding one another. Yesterday’s emotional engagement by knowing and being known does not guarantee relational connection today. Love has a way of elevating the desire for understanding so that another feels truly understood. When Jesus is the mutual focus…love facilitates understanding.
After Christ’s resurrection, He walked with two men on the road to the village of Emmaus. The men (who did not recognize Jesus) recounted the last few extraordinary days of how the prophet and Messiah Jesus Christ was arrested, tried, convicted, and crucified. But now they were perplexed because after three days…the body of Jesus was missing. Jesus, in His direct manner, brought these bewildered men back to the Scripture and explained to them once again how the Messiah would have to suffer as spoken of by the prophets. Upon arriving at their home, Jesus broke bread, and in an instant, the men recognized their Savior. Love elevates understanding.
“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way” (1 Peter 3:7, NASB).
A truly healthy marriage requires this elevated level of understanding of one another and clearly comprehending the dynamics of life circumstances. You may say, how? This is hard! Indeed, unless Jesus is the focal point for the husband and wife…you will have limited understanding of the other. Why? Because Jesus requires a humble, teachable heart before He brings clarity. Once husband and wife humble themselves to seek God first, all the other relational dynamics are set up for success. Honesty flows. Trust grows. Love elevates understanding one another. Like Jesus, reference the Scripture as your marriage handbook on how to relate to one another in love.
Understanding is more than knowing each other’s favorite foods, movies, and travel destinations. Loving each other in an understanding way is knowing what makes you feel cared for…securing door locks at night before bed, paying the bills on time, and not outsourcing your parenting. True understanding does a deep dive into an emotional engagement. “I am concerned right now for our child’s future.” Love empathizes with understanding. “I am with you; I want God’s very best for our daughter.” Understanding your spouse’s emotional need for acceptance when being vulnerable builds love and respect. Understanding does not mean total agreement, but it does mean I know you and support you. Love elevates understanding and grows intimate connection.
“Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is” (Ephesians 5:17).
Heavenly Father, by your Spirit, show me how to better understand others who need my love through Christ’s love, and in Jesus’ name, amen.
Ask your spouse what makes her/him feel understood and known.
Barry Rowland & Deliverance: God Understands
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