May 8, 2023

Lessons I’m Learning from Our Adult Daughters

Written by Boyd Bailey

Being who God made you to be is the best place to be.”

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today –May 8, 2023

He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5:34

Although flawed by living in a fallen world, our four daughters are all flourishing uniquely through their faith in and love for Jesus Christ. Each one is a mother of three children with husbands who cherish and love them in an understanding way. Patient girls, especially since Rita and I attempted to parent them, not really knowing what we were doing. Now watching them parent and be the wives the Lord called them to be, I am learning from them how to be better followers of Jesus Christ and love and relate to those in my life. Here are a few things I am learning from our four daughters:

Invest in Becoming the Best Version of Yourself

Being who God made you to be is the best place to be. Each daughter is unique in her giftedness, temperament, and interests: one thrives on work projects outside the home, two embraced working outside the home for a season to help financially, and one thrives in digging in the dirt at home. They are growing into the best wives and moms by wisely keeping a community of couples and girlfriends close to learn from and experience life with. And their mom is a weekly, if not daily, go-to for love, support, and wisdom. Rita helps them discover God’s best by discerning truth from lies and how to grow emotionally healthy. Most of all, our girls seek to rest in being beloved daughters of the King. When life is hard and exhausting, knowing they are known and loved by the Lord no matter what, gives comfort and peace. Our daughters are becoming the best versions of themselves in a vulnerable community. 

Invest in Becoming Best Friends with Your Siblings

As sisters growing up together, they did not always appreciate each other’s company; sometimes, they preferred not having a sister interrupt their time with friends from church or school. But as adults, it has been fun and fulfilling to watch how they love, care for, and help each other out. Sometimes by keeping each other’s children so the other couple can have a date night or a much-needed weekend for refueling. I smile at their special friendship…at their roaring laughter when they are together. And their tears of empathy and their rush to support when one family is in crisis. Additionally, my wife Rita helps plan and pay for an annual getaway for the five of them. Taking time to be together makes them all become better sisters, friends, moms, and wives. Love is the best accountability because you do not want to let down those you love. Love invests time.

Invest in a Healthy Marriage

A healthy marriage is the best gift to give a child after the gift of faith in Jesus Christ. What is a healthy marriage? From our daughters, I am learning that a healthy marriage is not without issues but is a relationship that has clarity and commitment to have a plan to process pain and to grow in love with one another. Unresolved pain grows from being hurt to anger to resentment and eventually to bitterness. As wives and husbands, they are learning to let their feelings be known, “I am fearful about our finances,” followed by the other’s helpful response, “Let’s review our budget and agree on ways to watch our spending and be more consistent in our giving and saving.” Being emotionally vulnerable, followed by a non-defensive response, is as much a learned skill as it is a spiritual discipline. One other observation of our daughters growing a healthy marriage is making time for fun together and apart. Budgeting fun money to be together for a trip or a simple date night. Or individually a day to pamper herself or for his recreation. A healthy marriage requires planning and preparation while growing the fruit of a loving family.

I am grateful to God for our girls, and as I learn from them, I want to love and know them more.

“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty” (2 Corinthians 6:18).

“Philip the evangelist, one of the Seven. He had four unmarried daughters who prophesied” (Acts 21:8-9).


Heavenly Father, give me a mom’s heart of compassion and love through Christ’s love, and in Jesus’ name, amen.


Consider adding “fun money” to your monthly budget.

Related Reading

Psalms 144:12; Proverbs 31:25; John 16:21

Worship Resource

Elevation Worship Acoustic: Never Lost


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