“Love and grace disagree without despising.”
Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – August 6, 2025
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. Ephesians 4:2-3, NLT
“What’s behind your fear of getting to know them?” The question hit me like a spotlight in a dark room, illuminating fears I didn’t even know I was carrying. I’d been maintaining what I thought was a safe distance from certain Christian people—folks whose political views made me wince, whose theology seemed too rigid, whose social media posts made me shake my head. I told myself I was being discerning, even wise. But my friend’s simple question exposed the truth: I wasn’t being discerning. I was afraid.
What was I afraid of? That they might influence me? That I might have to defend my positions? That getting close would somehow compromise my beliefs or make me complicit in views I couldn’t support? Or maybe, more uncomfortably, that I might discover they weren’t the caricatures I had created in my mind—that they were complex human beings with stories that explained their perspectives, pain that shaped their convictions, and hearts that loved Jesus just as genuinely as mine did. Love looks beyond differences to be healed or to help another heal.
It’s much easier to disagree with people from a distance. When you don’t know their names, their struggles, or their children’s faces, you can reduce them to their most disagreeable opinions and write them off entirely. But proximity complicates our neat categories. It’s hard to despise someone whose coffee order you know, whose worries you’ve heard, and whose laughter you’ve shared. The Apostle Paul understood this when he urged the Ephesians to “make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” Notice he didn’t say “make every effort to agree on everything” or “pretend your differences don’t matter.” He called for unity, not uniformity. And unity—real unity—is much harder work than uniformity.
A healthy body doesn’t function because all the parts are identical. It functions because wildly different parts learn to cooperate, each contributing their unique strength while submitting to direction from the head. The eye doesn’t try to become an ear, and the hand doesn’t despise the foot for being different. They work together because they share a common purpose and allegiance. This is the beautiful possibility Paul laid out: the ability to disagree without despising one another. But it requires something countercultural—being moved by love rather than fear. When someone’s beliefs trigger our fight-or-flight response and we feel the urge to either attack or retreat, that’s usually fear talking. And fear, while sometimes protective, is rarely redemptive.
I think about the person whose views on political/social issues make my blood pressure rise. My natural response is option one: keep my distance, maintain polite but shallow interactions, and avoid topics that might lead to conflict. Or I’m tempted by option two: engage with the intention to set them straight, armed with better arguments and superior information. But there’s a third way—the way my friend was gently pointing me toward. Move closer with a humble heart that seeks to understand. Not to understand to agree, necessarily, but to understand to love better. This doesn’t mean abandoning discernment or pretending harmful ideas aren’t harmful. It means recognizing that the person holding those ideas is still an image-bearer, still beloved by God, and still worthy of dignity and respect. Such healing rarely comes in a moment. More likely, it takes a lifetime of small choices to put our bodies in places where God can transform our thoughts. Maybe that means choosing the seat next to them instead of across the room. Maybe it means asking about their family instead of avoiding eye contact. Maybe it means listening to their story instead of preparing our rebuttal. The peace of Christ is ready to rule our hearts, Paul tells us elsewhere, but only if we let it. Only if we take the steps necessary to allow His peace permission to rule within us and among us. This radical truth changes everything: Jesus lives in the person we disagree with just the same as He lives in us. Love and grace disagree without despising.
Prayer
Lord Jesus, when I face disagreement, guard my heart from despising. Fill me with Your love, grace, peace, and healing. Help me respond with compassion, seeking understanding and unity through Your Spirit, not division. Heal every hurting heart, in Jesus’ name, amen.
Application
Who needs my healing love, and where does my heart need healing?
Related Reading
Proverbs 15:1; Romans 12:18; Galatians 6:1; Colossians 3:15
Worship Resource
CeCe Winans: Worthy of It All
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