August 23, 2016

3 Lessons I Learned Since I Married

Written by Shana Schutte

3 Lessons I Learned Since I Married 8.23

Thoughts from daily Bible reading for today – August 23, 2016

By Shana Schutte

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:3

For much of my adult life I ate standing over the kitchen sink. But that all changed in 2014 when I finally became a bride for the first time at age forty-six. Yep, it surprised me too. When I turned forty-three, I figured I was destined to spend my life alone, but God has a wonderful way of surprising us and changing things in ways we never imagined. Now that I am a Mrs., I know a few things I didn’t know before. If you are married or single, I hope these lessons encourage you.

Just because you marry later in life doesn’t mean it will be difficult to adjust. There are a lot of clichés floating around about marriage and one of them is that people who marry after thirty years old are too set in their ways and too inflexible to have a peaceful marriage. If you are single and this is your fear, be encouraged. A lot of it has to do with how much you want to put your mate first, and if you are willing to be a giver. My husband is a great example of serving well and I have learned a lot from him about living unselfishly. He has made being married a joy.   

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21).

Don’t marry just for sex. Sex is a beautiful gift from God; but it’s peculiar how the world oversells and undersells it. They oversell it by making us think sex is always fireworks, never awkward, always easy, and the most important part of any relationship. But they undersell the beautiful, joyous sacredness of it. The world feeds us the lie that true intimacy is found in sex alone, but real intimacy isn’t found just by merging bodies in sex. When Jesus said, “and the two shall become one. . .” I can’t help but think that He meant more than just the physical. After all, how many couples go to bed at night, share their bodies, but not their hearts? Undoubtedly, many of these people would say they are very lonely. Why? Because just as a garden hose is not the source of water, but only an expression or vehicle for it, so sex is not the source of intimacy, but an outlet (or expression of) it. Never marry just for sex. Marry someone you respect, admire, shares your faith, and is your friend. These things will carry you a long way down the road of marital bliss.

If God keeps you single longer than you expected, you aren’t missing out. Later in my single years, I honestly felt overlooked by Christ. I mean, how many times can a girl be a bridesmaid? Now that I have walked the aisle, I have no regrets. There are those moments when I miss not having children, but if I had married like I wanted when I was twenty-one, I wouldn’t have ever started writing in my early thirties–and I wouldn’t be sitting here typing this for you. My writing ministry sprang out of my singleness.  God knows what He is doing.



Lord, thank you for marriage, and thank you for singleness. Help me to trust you with my position and to serve those I am close to well. Amen.


Write Ephesians 5:21 on a notecard and read it throughout the day. Ask the Lord to remind you of every day opportunities to submit to those you are in close relationship with out of reverence for Him.

Related Reading

Galatians 5:13; Philippians 2:3; 1 Peter 5:5

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Don’t Marry Just for Sex—Marry someone you respect, admire, shares your faith, and is your friend.  #WisdomHunters #3MarriageLessons

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